Why America Needs Britney Spears More Than Ever

Change is upon us.

In case you happen to be deeply wedged under a rock on the southern shores of Guam, hate America, or God forbid, don't have Wi-Fi, then you should know that we're in the midst of a Spearitual Renaissance.

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Michelangelo could never. Raphael literally cannot. Leonardo da Vinci is (probably) gagging in his grave.

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WHY? Because Britney Spears is straight up SLAUGHTERING her Vegas show and life (in general) lately.

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Are you still alive after watching her tell men to "suck her fucking toe"?

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